Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
Always lands on her spleen.
Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.
Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
Catfood dish replaced with Michael Moore trough.
Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.
It’s no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
Has more chins than lives.