1 – APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside; I’ve only just finished cleaning.”
2 – TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t behave, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
3 – LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why!”
4 – FORESIGHT: “Make sure you’ve got clean underwear on in case you’re in an accident.”
5 – OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.”
6 – CONTORTION: “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck.”
7 – STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is finished.”
8 – TERRORISM: “Your room looks like a bomb’s hit it.”
9 – SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS: “If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, THEN would you listen?”
10 – OXYMORONS: “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times; don’t exaggerate.”
11 – IMPROVEMENT BY EXAMPLE: “Stop acting like your father.”
12 – ENVY: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have parents as good as yours!”
Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!
The Veterinarian
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of
a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened
again the next week.
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw
an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This
went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the
collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give
some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure
you can afford this? How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for
a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much
money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada; he has two cat houses, one
in Las Vegas, and one in Reno."
a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened
again the next week.
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw
an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This
went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the
collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give
some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure
you can afford this? How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for
a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much
money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada; he has two cat houses, one
in Las Vegas, and one in Reno."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)