Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $3.95 for a three-pack.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
One color for all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.